Forget me not
by eiry.d
Summary: Four years after AVALANCHE defeated Sephiroth, Cloud has become withdrawn from the group. Haunted by dreams of Aeris he blames himself for her fate. PG13 for violence, quite a dark fic.


The blonde trudged through the swamp, dragging his sword through the mud and slime. Flinging it wildly at any monster that dared come into it's midst.  
His hair was unkept, and he obtained a sort of lost look about him. None would have guessed that once he commanded great respect over the people as it's saviour from the penultimate, along with the rest of AVALANCHE.  
  
He wiped a stray strand of hair out of his face, merely adding to the bewildered look by smearing mud and muck over his already begrimed face.  
Cloud was a mess. He was tired, hungry and puzzled as how he could have possibly lost his way. He knew the route well having travelled it often, but somehow strayed from his path and ended up in the pit of slime that he was now trekked through.  
  
At last, he came to a clearing in the trees and saw his destination. Relief swept over him, and it was adrenaline that carried him through the barren rocks that surrounded Cosmo Canyon.  
  
Upon his arrival, he was greeted by a party of curious children. He whispered one name, then fell to the ground unconscious.  
  
  


Forget me Not  
By  
Feenie  
  


A few hours later, when he'd awakened and cleaned himself up. He sat staring into the fire at the heart of the village, draped in a blanket and drinking hot tea. Nanaki sat beside him, and the two talked. It had been four years since their last meeting and the pair needed to catch up.  
  
How've you been Cloud? The beast asked.  
His companion simply stared into the flames before him, with a thoughtful look on his face. A little time went by before either spoke again.  
  
It's the dreams Nanaki. His voice was barely at a whisper, and Red wasn't sure whether the man was quite there or not. He seemed preoccupied and quiet, but at the same time constantly studying the flicker of the fire that lit his haggard features.  
  
She's haunting me. He choked out the words, and looked downward towards his feet.  
He spoke the name, although there was no need because Nanaki knew. Aeris, I mean.  
Haunting you? He looked confused, and prompted Cloud to continue. Go on.  
Every time I close my eyes Nanaki she's there! In my thoughts, in my dreams she's...  
A tear slipped down his cheek, shed from his left eye and the fire reflected in it making it glow almost.  
  
Does she blame me? He asked, finally gaining the courage to look Red in the face.  
A feeling of deep pity stirred inside the beast. To see Cloud, once so full of life, like this was heartbreaking. Upon reflection, he realised that finding out that he wasn't who he thought he was must have hit Cloud harder than his first expectations. Plus with these dreams, who knew what was going though his mind?  
  
There was nothing you could have done, Cloud.  
The mercenary wept openly now. What if there was Nanaki!? What if I could have saved her?? But I was so helpless, I had all the power in the world then. But, I couldn't bring myself to use it.  
You shouldn't blame yourself. Nanaki tried, but there was nothing that would console him.  
  
Why not? He screamed.  
Then, as quickly as his shouts had begun, silence invaded the canyon like death, children scuttled indoors and their families with them. The only sound to be heard was the crackling of the candle and the peaceful taps of Nanaki's feat as he padded away from this wreck and up the steps towards his room.  
  
Cloud stared after him for a minute, his eyes filling with tears and his heart with a fresh wave of the dull aching pain that haunted him along with distant memories. He collapsed and fell downwards, laid out on the stone. The remains of his tea spilt from the cup, and a little strayed into the fire. His tears joined them, staining the sandstone in the place that, after he had left he would never see again.  
  
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After about five days there in cosmo recovering, Cloud went up to see Nanaki. The beast had not returned to see him, believing that in the state that he had left him, it was best not to disturb him. After all, it would risk him being put into the state in which he had been left again.  
Nanaki grinned to see his friend looking so well. He lingered in the doorway slightly nervous. It was strange to see him without his SOLDIER uniform, he looked quite insignificant without his armour either. Clad now simply in jeans and a white t-shirt he looked like any other towns-person.  
How are you?  
The blonde replied. He no longer looked so withdrawn, or scared. He was just, Cloud.  
  
I came to apologise, actually.  
Nothing to apologise for Cloud.  
  
Cloud ventured a little further into Red's home, it was cluttered with charts and maps and materia. Never a very organised creature, this was the way he liked it. It suited him, but not visitors who had a tendency of tidying up for him. Which, of course drove him to distraction trying to find his once accessible tangle of work.  
  
He sat down at Red's indication. You said you'd been having dreams?  
Cloud nodded.  
It's... the same every time. He cleared his throat before going into detail. I close my eyes, and I see her face right before he... Then there's blood and.... I'm standing in the sleeping forest. There's something in the shadows, moving with them that I can't quite make out. I hear a scream and it's not human Red. Then I hear his laugh, and it's so cold....  
  
Every night? Cloud nodded.  
Do you think he's back Red?  
Nanaki frowned a little, thinking. I don't see a way that he could be...  
Your grandfather said that things that returned to the planet were reborn. Is there a way that he could have stayed the same?  
He could perhaps have retained some memory of his previous life. In any case Cloud he would only be a child and weak. Any trace of Sephiroth in him would be overcome by the strength of the new life inside him. Cloud visibly flinched at the mention of the man whom he had defeated.  
  
Then what is it?  
I hate to say this Cloud but it could be just that you blame yourself.  
Cloud looked down, something that he'd gotten into the habit of doing lately.  
I'm leaving Red.  
  
I'm going.. there. To the city, I want to see if I can find something there.  
I wish I could have done more for you Cloud but, I honestly know nothing.  
Will you come with me Red?  
  
He looked up into the eyes of Cloud, confused. Red had got the impression that Cloud had wanted to be alone.  
Do you want me to?  
  
Then I will.  
  
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Red stood at the front steps of his home, with Cloud behind him saying goodbye for the first time in four years. The two were laden with various parcels and packages, each donned their weapons and armour now. It was strange to see Nanaki, such a peaceful creature dressed for combat.  
They left at sunrise, heading towards Rocket Town to see Cid in hope of some transport.  
I'll be back as soon as I can. He said.  
We'll be waiting for you. A mother spoke through her children's tears.  
Nanaki smiled, and walked with Cloud down the steps and into the rocky wilderness.  
  
A/N Tell me what you think : ) I'm quite pleased with this, and I know almost exactly where the story's going. For those of you currently reading Help me live Don't worry I haven't given up. I just got an idea and had to write it. Updates to that and this very soon.


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